Mixed Up ./

2010-12-21T00:33:00.002+08:00

I'm going to jump to my new blog.

2010-12-14T23:18:00.001+08:00

Woah, almost a month since I blogged. But I doubt anyone would read it anyways. So, I will just say Hello and Byebye :)

It all ends here .

2010-11-19T22:38:00.001+08:00

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light. - Albus Dumbledore

Woke up super early to go vivocity to buy tickets for HARRY POTTER 7 PART 1 digital with Yida. He's like super slow, I was long ready before he was! Met him at farrer park mrt and train to harbourfront after that. And the irritating part was, my foot already had blisters by then. Like so freaking fast cans. Shouldn't have worn the shoes. But whatever! Brought the tickets from GV Max. 6 rows from the back, like what the hell. I swear there's still seats at the back! So pissed off. But Yida's treating me to the movie, so whatever!

Then we went up to the top floor and look at the scenery from up there. Took a couple of photos of Sentosa and went to find something to eat (Yida was hungry. Such a pig, tsk tsk). But before we ate, Yida went into a shop to look at his vaio laptop. And I saw tons of dslr. So irritated! Rawrs! He was like teasing me all the way. Ughs. Went down and ended up, eating nothing. We just drank, so funny! Waited for Teresa there, and took photographs of Yida! Played his phone's suduko, then suddenly Teresa was like saying, "OMG, Hazel. I can't make it". I was like we already brought the tickets! Wasted a ticket ): But Teresa's gonna pay me back, yay! Walked up to the cinema when it's almost time. Look at books and more DSLRs (so sad).

The movie was awesome, I SWEAR. The beginning was so cool. But sooo sad! It was awesome. The ending too. The movie made me cry ): Aww. I need to watch it again! Like again and again! Until I remember what they say. Love it. Now, I just nidda wait for part 2. So irritating.

Went to bugis and return books, and accompany Yida to see stuff. Went home after that. He accompanied me to farrer park and went back himself. Aww, super thanks. Okay thanks bye!

I'm with stupid .

2010-11-15T23:48:00.002+08:00

My worst nightmare: That one day, any girl will take my spot. That one day a girl will sit with you, laugh with you, smile with you, & have a good time with you. That one day a girl will realized that you’re amazing. That one day that girl becomes your girlfriend. That one day she takes my spot for good. That one day you will forget about me because you’re busy thinking about her. Yeah, that scares me the most. Because, I want to be that girl. I want to be only girl. I don’t want anyone to take my spot. Why? Because, if anyone takes my spot; there won’t be anyone else who can take yours … which is probably going to be the worst reminder that I lost my spot to her.

Choir was awesomely short today. The time went by quite fast. Actually wanted to meet up early with yeeying to have a h2h talk, then she freaking came LATE. All well, she has a excuse anyway. Stomach ache, so cannot blame her. Then we found out something, we cannot talk h2h face to face. We talk in msn, facebook or text otherwise it would be very weird. We are so weird. Went through the songs for the concert on the 25 of November, it was kinda okay. Wasn't really concentrating on the practice since I slept at 4am last night. Was playing the game "Marbles" in my phone. And I passed all 26 levels. Awesome! It was boring actually, but I managed to finish the levels, yay! I'm such a pro. Okay, back to choir, SZEHUA PANGSEH ME AGAIN. For that stupid china trip. Irritating. Leave shermayne, qingqing and me alone. Ughs, qingqing and szehua also not going for the concert. Rawr, I don't like them.

After choir, actually wanted to watch movie but Cia didn't want to, so yeeying and me went home. Awesome. Was so slacked there. Talked to yida and he immediately pissed me off by saying he might be buying a Vaio netbook. Asshole. Dinner and went home. Texted with 21st for a while before he went to sleep. Such a pig :D

Okay then, BYE.

Never been loved .

2010-11-12T20:23:00.005+08:00

Well, two weeks of extra curriculum is finally over. Oh yeahhh. Such an awesome day. Not really awesome but still, it was great. First of all, it was Shirley's 15th birthday. Congrats piggy peh, you're one year older now! Hope you had a super awesome birthday alright :) Recently, I have been using the word 'awesome' lots of times. Sooo, I'm gonna continue using it ;) Meet up with 21st, the rest of the day was awesome. Rested on him, and I think I literally slept. I missed him so much, loves loves! He went home around 3 plus to 4. That was so sad. But whatever, so I'm here blogging. Anyone miss me? 5 more days until the arrival of Harry Potter 7 part 1. Sheesh, can't they film part 1 and 2 together. Asshole, ruin the fun. And some more it's the last chapter ):< You know what's the saddest sound in the world? Children playing. There is just something about sitting in you room with windows open, listening to their joy and laughter. It's like there's some sort of magic going on outside that you can no longer join it. Something you can no longer grasp. A secret club you can't remember the password to. And you realize that you've grown up. Someday you're gonna see my book in Popular stores. I would finally pick up the courage to start finding my publishers. I will finally have the motivation to continue writing. Everyone will know me as the inspirational writer. My books will be made into a movie. I will make millions and millions and finally retire. I will build a house in a countryside, running across the big field before it's too late. I would make a name for myself. I will marry a wonderful husband and have kids of my own. Until then, I will be Hazel. The girl with dreams. Dreams that will come true.

The tears behind the smile .

2010-11-05T19:36:00.007+08:00

It's been such a long time since I blogged rights ? Mostly because I don't feel like switching on the computer , kinda too lazy you know ? So , I just slacked around in my room . Spent my days texting , sleeping and day-dreaming . I felt like writing stories but I just had no inspiration to continue it . Is that good or bad ? Should I continue , just feel so shag . Even during the extra lessons , I don't even feel like listening to the teachers . Ugh , stupid results . Feel so freaking disappointed in myself you know ? Only emaths stand out in my report book . Feel like crying but it's my fault for not studying hard enough .

Choir was kinda epic and almost impossible to catch up . The Japanese song was so hard too sing !!! And the mouth shape ugh . But the melody and the meaning is so wonderful , it's just not possible to throw it all away . The notes for the soprano is so freaking high . It's so hard for me . I'm a half alto and half soprano . How can I sing sooo high . Plus it's kind of annoying in sectionals . The members just wouldn't cooperate . Sighs . Syf , how can we get a silver from you ):

Had BBQ in the afternoon , was so fun . Food and pictures taken . Gonna upload them soon I guess . Almost all of them are my two adorable cousins . They're brother and sister . They are just so cute you know :) My xiaoee came , missed her . And I realised she visits my blog . So , she's going read this post I think . So , xiaoee , TAG ME ALRIGHT , I LOVE YOU AND LAST LONG OKAY OKAY . Played taptap and etc in her iphone . Fyi , I still don't like iphone . And then ... I FINALLY WATCHED GLEE . It was nice I guess . Love the song . Maybe I should bathe now and go into my grandma's house to disturb my cousin , yays :)

It hurts to love someone when we can't tell them what we really feel... because sometimes we get hurt without them knowing. We get jealous even if we have no right to feel that way. We want their time even if we are not in the position to demand for it. Although our hearts are breaking in silence, we still continue to love them because somehow in this hurtful love there is still hope of having simple moments with them even if it means being just a friend .

I do a lot of thinking before I go to sleep,

1) I play scenes in my head.

2) I practice the things I want to say.

3) I have endless "what ifs".

4) I make plans for the next day.

5) I think of all the people I miss.

6) I think of the ones I hate.

7) I ask myself a lot of questions.

Guess this post is long enough . Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

It's only broken promises .

2010-10-19T20:59:00.006+08:00

You can say sorry a million times. You can say I love you as much as you want. You can say whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want. But if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true, then you might as well not say anything at all. If you can’t show it, your words don’t mean a thing.
We’re girls, we get jealous, we will hate that mother fucker who spams your facebook, we tend to assume things, our imaginations go wild. Every second you take to reply, thousands of things goes through our heads ; who you talking to? Is it that mother fucker bitch? We start assuming, and this is when we get insecure. But then.. we’ll try comfort ourselves, we’ll think back to our conversations and make ourself believe you ain’t that type of guy. So don’t disappoint us.
Almost passed amaths. So damn fucked up. So much careless errors and especially calculation errors. Seriously. So damn angry. If i didn't make any careless mistakes, I can confirm pass this paper. Should have checked through instead of wasting time dong pointless question which I don't even get what the question is asking. But whatever! What's done is done, right right? But Mr Chan gave us a very long lecture, so damn disappointed in myself. Should have studied harder. Ugh, Hazel go go go, you can do it ;)

English? I passed on the DOT. Well, at least I passed. Better than failing. Anyways, I also didn't have the time to finish my composition. How can I score in that (comforting me). Sheesh. Paper 2 too. I failed my comprehension and passed my summary. Oh thank god. I love you summary. But half of my summary was redundant. But whatever, at least I passed! My paper 1 was so freaking bloody that I didn't even bother reading my comments. Ugh. Gotta read up more books already. Improving my vocabulary before it's too late.

Chinese, I passed! Surprisingly though. Failed my paper 1, that was kinda expected. I didn't even finish my composition and I ended suddenly. But still, I passed. So happy (Y) Got 30/40 for my oral you know? That's like so pro ;) 12/20 for listening comprehension, damn tricky. 46 for comprehension (paper 2) At least I passed!

Emaths, ranked 11 in class. Woohoot! A2 for end of years exams.

Elaborate tomorrow. Daddy nagging. Tata!

Another wrong judgement .

2010-10-18T14:44:00.007+08:00

It’s funny. I can make people laugh, but I can't do it myself. When my friends gets real sad, I would be the first one to accompany them and understand them perfectly. But when it comes to me, nobody understands the stuff that I have gone through. I can love someone wholeheartedly, but in return, I have gotten so much lies. Everything I have gone through, do you all understand? Nobody does. Nobody would cares.

I hate being the one who has to wait. I hate being the one who's always expecting something great to happen. I hate that I always assume. I hate how good I am when it comes to finding out things... Only to find out that those things would depress me.

Girl: Babe I dont think I can sleep.
Boy: Why baby?
Girl: I don't know. I need your boring voice to put me to sleep. Wanna tell me a story? Hehehe.
Boy: Hahah, you're lucky that you're cute. How about I read you Dear John.
Girl: Sounds perfect.
- Boy reads Dear John-
- 15 minutes later-
Girl: *snores*
Boy: Babe?
Girl: *snores*
Boy: Hahah, you always knock out within 15 minutes. Your snores are cute. Babe, I really love you. I really do. Sometimes I might show that I dont give a fuck. But I do. I never want to lose you. I know it's cheesy, but this is how I feel. This is REAL. I know I'm not the best thing out there, but I'm trying to be one of your best ever. Thank you babe, thank you for choosing a messed up guy like me to be your boyfriend. Thank you for being mine. I honestly can't see myself with anyone else but you babe. I know I say I love you too many times, but each time I say it, my feeling grows more & more for you. Thanks for listening babe. I'll still be on the phone if you need anything. Goodnight babe & sweet dreams. I won't let the bed bugs bite you

Awwwww... I love this guy, such a wonderful boyfriend alright. I feel so bored cans, today is marking day. Like finally the examinations is over rights? But we have to check our papers from tomorrow onwards. And I haven't even finish my two chinese compo. I feel like crying already. Have been slacking the whole of today. Woke up and slacked. Watch the television and texted. Should have gone out and watch movies. The chinese horror movie by rainie yang. Awesome rights? Heard that it's nice ;) Met up with bitch to give her my onto headphone money! First time we met you know? She looks kinda different from her photos ;p Went to granny's house and slacked til now.

Anyways, finished the first page of my story. Hope you all will support me! The url is in my profile under the stalk me. It's called story ;) http://rosesw-ithered.blogspot.com/

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ;)

2010-10-15T18:11:00.003+08:00

I want a guy best friend who gets mistaken as my boyfriend. A guy best friend is everything you need. Another boy who makes your life complete. A boy who I can run to when my girl BFFs aren’t around. He’ll kick my future boyfriend’s arse when he makes me cry. He’ll make me laugh when there’s tears in my eyes. He is immediately my date on special occasions when you’re single. Idk why. But I really need a guy best friend. A real guy best friend.

Ugh , I feel so awesomely tired . Today is finally the end of the super tiring end of year examinations . Though I studied , I think I'm gonna screw up this examinations . Forget it , I did my best , that's all it counts . Well , I'm gonna start continuing with my story soon I guess . I gotta stop slacking and start working . Currently , I have four websites I visit every single time I switch on my computer . Wanna know what are they ? http://www.givesmehope.com/ , http://kidsgivemehope.blogher.com/ , http://sixbillionsecrets.com/ , http://lovegivesmehope.com/ they give me hope .

Her face devoid of resentment .

2010-10-07T21:45:00.005+08:00

Its really cute when a boy smiles at you, says hi, face turns red, look at you all the time then when you look back he looks away, laughs, ask his friend to say hi for him, waits for you in the gate, waits for you in the classroom, waits for you in the corridor, waits for you in the canteen, waits for you outside, waits for you anywhere, sweaty, nervous,cant breathe when your near, only sees you NO OTHER GIRL, teases you, makes nicknames for you, holds your hand unexpectedly, acts weird, say he has a crush on you and then says ‘kidding!’ afterwards but you know it wasn’t really just a joke ..but it really feels good that you are the reason why he acts this way.

Oh god, I really hope that I don't fail English. The composition for one word topic is FOOD. What do you expect me to write about food?! Seriously. I think I'm gonna flunk both my papers. Oh Mr G.Tan, I hope you forgive my poor usage of grammar. I don't wanna retain secondary three again. It's pure torture. In the end, I wrote that my best friend's a drug dealer. Oh god. Stupid me. Situational is about literature. ): I should have taken literature for my combine humanities. Super damn regret.

You know, for comprehension, I was day-dreaming all the way. I understand the passage and the questions but I just don't know how to answer it. It's just so easy that I don't know how to answer it. Maybe it's a tricky passage. God, Tan Li San is marking the paper, you know? I wanna cry already. I really hope I pass ):

Have you ever heard something you really didn’t want to hear, then your heart just drops and you get a huge knot in your throat because it feels like you’re about to burst out crying.

I don't need you .

2010-10-05T21:17:00.007+08:00

I could really use a hug right now. Not one of those “It’s nice to see you again, I‘ve really missed you” type of hugs or those “Goodbye for now” type of hugs, but an actual hug. The ones where each person has two arms wrapped around the other person’s body, holding on tight enough so no one feels the need to let go. The ones that last for more than a couple of seconds so you can rest your head on the other person’s shoulder for a while. Not the one armed hugs that need to be rushed so they could give a hug to the next person waiting to be hugged. The hugs where you don’t have to say anything because in that moment we just click when we’re holding onto each other. Hugs that make you feel like the world is slowing down just for you and everything is going to be okay. It’s not just a hug anymore, it becomes something much more than that. One simple gesture had the power to motivate you and make you stronger. Hugs like these are rare since you’re not exactly sure when you’re going to receive another one again. Giving you every possible reason to cherish the moment and make it last.

Woah, end of year tomorrow. Feel so freaking stress. And you know whose marking the comprehension? Ms Tan Li San. Oh my god, I feel like killing myself. There goes my chance in scoring in that component. But on the other hand, Mr G.Tan is marking the composition part. Awesome. Suckish day anyway. Though it was the "last" lesson of the year, we still have two weeks of extra curriculum. Great huh? So awesome... And what's making it more "awesome", is that I'm having a major flu and a mild sore throat. Eko was like, wtf?! Monster. I also had a high pitched sneeze in class. Gosh, I wanna just crawl into my bed and sleep for the rest of the year. Ugh, stupid illness. Anyw, byeeeee :)

God speaks to you through other people.

Separate the distance between them .

2010-09-30T20:25:00.005+08:00

As you can see , the messy one is Chloe's . The super neat one , is mine :) Went to KFC and ate KFC Cheesy BBQ Melts with Chloe . It was suer awesome . First time eating it you know ? I might hate tomatoes but then ... when it's with the Cheesy BBQ Melts ... it's A-W-E-S-O-M-E :) Went to Chloe's house 3rd time this week . It's like super far from the toa payoh , but whatever . Studied emaths and did a few questions on amaths . I figured out one of the questions , you know ? :) Chloe sent me to the interchange , so awesome rights ! Thanks woman .

Minions from Despicable Me . So cute rights ? Especially the language that they speak of . Love them to the max , you know ? When I grow up , I also want a minion , maybe thousands of them :)

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.

Angels falling from the sky .

2010-09-26T17:02:00.003+08:00

She’s the girl that has a few best friends & doesn’t need anymore, the girl that laughs the hardest at her own jokes. She’s the girl that will hang up on you, but then call you right back & say sorry. She’s the girl who will never leave your side when you need her, the girl who will go out of her way to cheer you up. She’s the girl who never sleeps without her teddy bear by her side, she’s the girl who says she isn’t ticklish, but really is. She’s the girl who will not give up on you if she really believes in you. She’s the girl who believes in loving somebody forever.

Actually , I don't know what to post . Kinda mood down . I guess I can seriously say that I fallen in love with him . It's not just a crush . It's hurting way too badly . To see him flirting with others on facebook , I rather dig my eyes out . I miss being ever so close to him . I miss being a child again . It's much easier to mend a wound knee then a broken heart . Sighs , I guess I gonna love him secretly rights ? I just want him to be happy . Ugh , stupid life . I regretted not talking to him earlier . I knew him for so long , sighs . Fate playing with us .

She's the girl whom everyone loves . She's the girl whom everyone ignores . She's the girl with great body . She's the girl with an average body which nobody looks at . She's the cheerleader in the class . She's the geek in class . Both of them likes the most caring guy in the class , and he chose the geek . Love no boundaries .

Under the shooting star .

2010-09-25T18:00:00.004+08:00

When a girl is hurting, she’s going to hurt for quite a while. She’ll rethink the situation over and over again thinking what she could have possibly done to avoid it from happening. She wishes there was a possibility that she could just erase what just happened because right now, she’s left scarred with the thoughts.

It's five plus in the afternoon and I haven’t even started my revision . I feel so shag today . Slept til 7am and went back to sleep again . Woke up at around 10am . So not proud of myself today , I need some motivation dudes . I really hope I don’t retain this year , or else I will really cry . My daddy said if I got good results for my end of year , he will buy something for me . I hope it’s a new laptop or dslr or itouch or maybe even let me learn piano ! Oh my god , I really hope I can pass with flying colours . Oh ya , so loving the song “Angels” now . It’s sung by Kate Voegele and S.H.E also tried singing it in Chinese . I prefer the English version better . And you know what Kate does ? She write her own songs , super talented cans ? I wanna learn how to play a piano , ugh . So sad . Gonna post the lyrics of the song under the picture below . Enjoy ! (: Plus , cbox’s kinda screwed up . So many spams tag , ugh . Annoying .

’ve said it once and I’ll say it again

I’ve got something hanging over my head

I was laying on your shoulder

Perfectly content

Until you told me all over again

I ain’t got no sob story to write

But just like everyone else I’m living this life an

Don’t need to win me over

And there ain’t no other side

To shelter me from all the wrong where I decide

But you say we don’t mess around

You’ve got no freedom to come down

We don’t take angels from the sky

Oh no

But we don’t mess around

You’re meant to be among the clouds

Cause you’re an angel

But that’s a lie

Oh oh oh

Well I suppose you think that I’m so flattered to hear

That I’m a whispered conscience in your ear, yeah

And that’s exactly the reason that I never fit in here

Well nothings ever that black and white my dear

But you say we don’t mess around

You’ve got no freedom to come down

We don’t take angels from the sky

Oh no

We don’t mess around

You’re meant to be among the clouds

Cause you’re an angel

But that’s a lie

Oh oh oh

I’m not your angel darling

I am never gonna be

I’m not your angel darling

I am never gonna be

We don’t mess around

You’ve got no freedom to come around

We don’t take angels from the sky

Oh no no no

But we don’t mess around

You’re meant to be among the clouds

Cause you’re an angel

But that’s a lie (x3)

Ain’t never gonna be

Don't come in , if you hate me .

2010-09-24T20:32:00.008+08:00

I kinda miss the bond we shared. I mean, who wouldn't miss that comfortable feeling with a person. Where we could talk for hours about everything, anything and not have a problem with the silence in the middle. Can't forget all the ridiculous stuff we did. Stupid or not, everything was just so fun. Endless nights, real talks, the "remember whens" I remember it all. And it's funny what life does, how it could just give you things and take it away so soon. I really can't get it to my head that you grow distant from people and that good things come to an end sooner or later. But along the way I learned one thing about life; it goes on, you just gotta pick yourself up and learn to keep up.

I'm just so stressed out . But I'm seriously disappointed in you . I thought you would understand , but you're just like my mother . The truth is , I'm really tired . It's been a long time since I've gone out with my friends . Maybe you don't understand , but it's a long time since I cried . But because of you , I cried in public . I tried stopping , but it keeps flowing out . I hide from everyone's eyes , but I hope someone would cared to ask what happen . I know you care , but sometimes you just gotta listen . I respect you more than my mother , but I can't help it but just blow up today . You did the most unbelievable thing , when I wanted to explain , you covered your ears with your hands . Grandmother , I respected you . But I lost faith in you .

I don’t expect to talk to him every minute of my everyday.
I don’t need him to buy me gifts.
I don’t need to see him everyday.
I don’t need him to be checking up on me all the time.
I don’t expect to be touchin’ and feelin’ all the time.
But what I do need is for him to be faithful to the relationship, and realize that saying I love you isn’t just three words you toss around.

End of year is coming , and I'm finally studying . Surprised ? Ya , me too . Was with Chloe and her friend just now . Tried to understand the model essays , and I think I do . I feel so proud of myself . While Chloe is there watching Glee Season 2 , I was reading "To Kill The Mockingbird" . I find it quite interesting . Call me boring and stupid , but I like it . People , you should read it . It's gonna be a pretty long post today . Haven't post for two days already , miss posting on it .

I have a secret, when you told me I was fat, I began to stop eating. Eating lesser and lesser, hating to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. I began to hate meat, mac and kfc. Mummy, tell me I look fine the way I am.

Young Couple Kneeling on Bed Kissing

2010-09-20T21:27:00.003+08:00

I want a guy best friend who gets mistaken as my boyfriend. A guy best friend is everything you need. Another boy who makes your life complete. A boy who I can run to when my girl BFFs aren’t around. He’ll kick my future boyfriend’s arse when he makes me cry. He’ll make me laugh when there’s tears in my eyes. He is immediately my date on special occasions when you’re single. Idk why. But I really need a guy best friend. A real guy best friend.

Super tiring day at school . Got really pissed off during English , lucky the person manage to say sorry . I did nothing , he come freaking scold me for no reason . Got your facts right alright ? I complaint all the way to Essentrix , Buddy , Yeeying and Derrick . Rawrs !

English , gone through summary . Ugh , stupid lesson . Emaths was better . Laughing continues . History was really duh . Did source based , worse section ever ! I rather memorize essays , like seriously . Physics was the worse . I got so bored , that I slept in class . Totally didn't listen . Plus Mr Leong call me by the wrong name . So freaking pissed off . The last two lesson was alright , one period of emaths . Awesome laughter . Got released early , but choirrrrrrr ):

Choir was okay , until someone came and piss me off . Please la , you can see better than me ? I see you prove it . Ugh , totally ruins my mood . Shit off la , if you so pro , you would be able to go into ABRSM . Loser .

We're just all being in denial .

2010-09-19T22:09:00.004+08:00

There’s a difference between letting go and pretending you’ve forgotten.

What a boring Sunday . There's school tomorrow , it's like so freaking fast . End of year exams are coming way too fast , and I don't like it . Especially when I haven't prepare for most subjects . I swear I'm gonna cry if I fail my end of year and had to retain or even go Normal . Ugh , feel so freaking guilty . Been on facebook for the past few hours , should have studied instead of surfing the net . But this gravity of laziness is pulling me away from my books . And this freaking big headache that's driving me crazy . I'm gonna change , becoming happy again . So world , be careful , cause Hazel's coming back :) Oh ya , I discovered a new awesome singer and her name is Kate Voegele . I swear , her songs are awesome . Goooooooooooooooooooo listen to it ! :)

I'm gonna be a future writer , awesome teacher and an inspirational photographer .

Bye !

Innocence of a kid .

2010-09-18T16:45:00.005+08:00

For the first time in my secondary three life , I studied for my end of year exams and my social studies second common test. Was kinda proud of myself (Y) . Then something really ruins my mood , ugh . Bitches . People , you disappoint me . I don't know how you all live with yourself .

Was studying Computer Studies yesterday with Chloe and Eunice :) . Two study sessions in one day . It's like so nice and cool . First session was with Chloe , right after school . Trained to Toa Payoh to study at the library . Chloe went back to her granny house to get her laptop . I swear , her granny was super friendly and nice . Nice house (Y) . Went to library and the first floor was full , what a drag . Went up to third floor , don't like it . It was so freaking quiet . Chloe and I had to whisper , sheesh . While I was there busy writing down notes , Chloe was there searching for leaving people (those using the sockets) . When someone really left , you should see the looks on Chloe's face !! Facebook , and etc :) She got hungry and we head off to Mos Burger. Like oh my god , their fish burgers are awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (Y) . Nice to the very very max . Love it . Gossip gossip ! Then after that , to the popular . Look at magazines , Miley Cyrus , weeeee :) And she was crazy about Taylor Lautner . Went to back to farrer park at 4.30pm to meet up with Eunice after that ^^v

Eunice was late ! But it was still an wonderful study date . Went to Mac and study . She ate her lunch while I do my work , heh heh . Talking to her was awesome . It's been a very long time since I talked to her . She treated me to a ice lemon tea , thanks girl :) . Oh ya , I promise I will keep that secret alright . She was copying her English passage while I continue to write down her notes . She like so freaking pitiful >< Girl , let's talk more alrights ? I miss you so freaking much ! Went home around 7pm .

Okay , byeeeeeeee (Y) .

Piano singing in your ears .

2010-09-15T23:38:00.003+08:00

I'm imperfectly me . I make mistakes , silly ones . I love guys , I hate bitches . But I'm unique , one of the kind . I smile for people to let them smile cause I think people should be happy . I scold because I care for my friends , especially close buddies . I hate because you're pissing my friends off and me off . Plus you're irritating . I love because that certain guy completes me and make me feel like myself . I can be nice and all , but don't take me for granted . Because when I'm angry , you don't know me . I have issues too . I love to sing songs and be crazy . I'm childish and ignorant . I love to being around little kids , actually I scream when I see them . I find them oh-so-cute . I listen to S.H.E , Supernova and Miley Cyrus . I'm really emotional , I cry over sad movies . I have overrated fashions and I tend jerks like a lot .

Byeeee :D

Your sweetest sin .

2010-09-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

Don't act as if you know what's love and what's infatuation . Let me tell you what's infatuation . Your "love" for me is just infatuations . Basically , you're only obsessed with me . You can tell me you love you , you can tell me you will do anything for me . But it will only be a broken promise . We will laugh , cry under the sun but when you realized that it was just a short span affection , you will leave . Leave me hanging and wondering what did I do wrong in this relationship . You might think I'm over it , but I'm not . Cause for us girl , it's love . Adults tell us that it's all puppy love , but you're wrong . All your broken promises , your fucking lies are just sins that you all make . We trust you , but all you do is lie . We pretend that we can't see , we can't hear just to deceive ourselves . But read this , WE do love you .

Post tomorrow :)

Take me on a rollercoaster ride .

2010-09-12T18:06:00.006+08:00

I feel so forlorn today . Maybe because there's school tomorrow ? I only done one question for my English comprehension . And there's like so much more homework to do cans ? Worse thing is , there's history second common test tomorrow . Source based . My worse section ever . I would rather read essays and remember them than do source based questions . I'm so gonna cry during History lessons tomorrow . Was using the computer since 12pm plus plus .

I'm so freaking gonna be sick . It's like there's something stuck on my throat and I'm having a headache . Sheesh . I so don't like this feeling . But yet , I'm eating white chocolates (Y) . I tell you , it's not too sweet , it's awesome . Ugh , I'm so not caring already . Gonna eat the chocolates until I vomit . I swear I'm gonna bake a white chocolate cake when I grow up . It's like so tasty cans ?

I swear , chastity rings are so freaking pretty . Realised that Miley has one too . I'm so gonna get that ring . Chio to the max . I'm loving it (Y) . I went to wikipedia and saw the rings . I wanna be a Christan already la ! Pretty stuff ♥

Okay , bye peoples :)

If I have the strength to start caring , I have the courage to stop caring .

I'm sorry that I'm not pretty like those girls in magazine. I'm sorry that I always get jealous whenever you talk to other girls. I'm sorry I can't be smart like those girls in top scholar schools. I'm sorry that I text you every single minute when you're with other girls. I’m sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I’m sorry when you take long to reply, I get sad. I’m sorry if I say things that might piss you off. I’m sorry if I come off as annoying. I’m sorry if you don’t wanna talk to me as much as I wanna talk to you. I’m sorry if I think about you too much and too often. I’m sorry if I tell you about my pointless drama when you don’t really care. I’m sorry if I come off as being clingy, but its just me missing you.

I'm just a screwed up bitch .

2010-09-11T23:17:00.001+08:00

Today was awesome . Went to watch Love Cuts at plaza singapura . I'm telling you , it's so freaking nice cans ? I love it . The worse part about watching that movie is that , there's sooo little people watching it . The summary goes like this ...

In Singaporean drama "Love Cuts", a 40-year-old mother of two (Zoe Tay) struggles with terminal breast cancer. It's touted as not only a poignant and moving portrayal of the challenges she faces as a result of her diagnosis, but also of how she inspires and changes the lives of the people around her. Also starring Hong Kong's Kenny Ho. Directed by Gerald Lee and scripted by Danny Yeo and Lee Shyh Jih. This movie receives the backing of Singapore's Health Promotion Board.
From : http://sg.movies.yahoo.com/Love+Cuts/movie/15841/

After that , went to Marina's casino . So freaking cool . Lazy post up the photographs , but it's awesome . Go see :D

BYE !

I might be changing , but who caused it ?

2010-09-10T19:17:00.003+08:00

Don't blame me when I start changing for the worse . I only have that certain patient , until I start to change to someone you all would never think of . I ain't gonna be a push over anymore . I ain't gonna care anymore . Especially to you guys . You can tell me it's all my fault , but whose the heartless one ? Not me , but you . It's just a tiny mistake , bastards . Get lost okay people ?

I feel so freaking bored . I haven't started on my homework yet . Oh wait , maybe just a little . Have been staring at the post for hours already and I didn't know what to blog , until I thought of a sentence . I tell you , it's awesome . It's the one on bold on the first paragraph . Copyrighted okay ? :) Watching Love Cuts tomorrow , awesome to the very max . Confirm will cry . Parents wanna go the to casino boat boat at Marina Bay . So ass , I don't wanna see ! I just wanna go home and sleep for the rest of the day . Bringing my camera along , hope can take photo ♥ .

27 more days to mid year examinations . I'm so not freaking prepared okay ? Especially for additional mathematics , computer studies and physics . So sian , I don't wanna fail and retain the year . Studying soon , ♥

Byebye !

Cause I'm not controlled by you anymore .

2010-09-09T22:33:00.013+08:00

I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I'm alive because I'm a fighter. I am wise because I've been foolish. I laugh because I've known sadness. Lastly, it's because I'm Hazel.

Hey , I know I have been blogging everyday recently . Hope someone's reading it though . Life's so freaking screwed these days . Ugh , I wish I could just click on the pause button and the time will stop for me . I wanna rest until I feel fully awake . I want a rewind button too . To undo whatever stuff I want . Relationships might made me more matured but the fact is , it also creates a room of emptiness in my body . It completely suck . But forget it , I'm Hazel . I can't break down and I will not break down anymore . Went to reread Low Kay Hwa's I Believe You again . It was still so freaking awesome . I want to read Lilith , A Photogenic Life and Journey . It seems nice , but never get to borrow them . Ughs , oh-so-bored . Just missed 11:11 again . Seems like me and wishes are not fated . Ain't gonna linger on the past , so I'm going to look forward . Trust me , I ain't gonna be a fool anymore . I'm sick of it , okay .

Do you think I'm sick ? My appetite is getting worse and worse . Now , I don't even like to eat meat anymore . Upon looking at it , I wanna vomit . It absolutely suck to the max . Because now , I don't know what to eat anymore . Much less being full . I feel so freaking sick , even listening the meat makes me so disgusted . Shit . Should I go to the doctor's ? Ugh . Stupid .

To you I might be stupid . But I have changed . Maybe for the worst . But it's all your doing , understand ? Bastards . I had enough . Caring for you guys is just a waste of time . I'm serious . Tell me if you want me in your life . Cause you're just a stranger from now on .

Just a crush .

The old lie .

2010-09-08T23:02:00.005+08:00

Girl: Boy, we will be best friends forever rights?
Boy: No, we wouldn't.
Girl: Why not ?! ):
Boy: Cause I love you. Not as a best friend, understand?
Girl: *hugs* I love you too.

It was quite a fruitful day anyways . Had amaths lesson in computer lab . Was not in a best mood I have to admit , having stomach ache . Didn't want to go to the toilet because Mr Chan looks angry >< It hurts a lot , mind you . Want to shit but cannot shit *crys* . Plus , my mind was kinda in a daze . Wasn't fully awake , so sorry Mr Chan ! But the lesson went by super fast ttm . It was quite easy to understand but ugh .

Emaths was awesome . Was totally able to concentrate better . Did all the questions by myself , so proud of myself :) When they were talking , I was there super silent doing my work . Got almost all the questions right you know ? :) At the end of the lesson , Ms Tang had this conclusion . No Joyce and Chloe = smart Hazel . Joyce and Chloe = stupid Hazel . It means I can't be distracted . Ugh , gotta concentrate !! Buck up Hazel , you can do it :D

Was suppose to go out , but in the end , stayed at home . I'm such a good girl (Y) . Reread Low Kay Hwa's To Forget You . Managed to finish the book within a day . I'm such a pro xD .

Being able to get close to you , it already enough for me .

You know how it feels like when your heart sink ? Its like this , your heart suddenly gain weight and gets pressurized . Then it starts to sink downwards . It's just this force pulling it down , no matter how you try to pull it up again , it wouldn't work . The only way is to let it recover itself .

Love professed through lips .

2010-09-07T22:21:00.003+08:00

Boy: Be with me.
Girl: I want to, but I can't.
Boy: What's stopping you?
Girl: Reality.

Ugh , so tiring . The ABRSM exam is finally over . The examiner like super friendly cans . Especially the woman sitting at the back . She was like smiling all the way when we're singing . Super friendly . I dare say that I have done my best in the exam . It was kinda nice when they say our singing was enjoyable (Y) , until Mrs Poon throw us wet blanket . Can't she be nice for once ? -.- The whole event was awesome . Especially when Ms Angila treated us Fillet burgers . Nice ttm , (L) .

There's emaths and amaths make up lesson tomorrow . The amaths make up lesson , from 8 to 9.30pm and emaths lesson from 9.30 to 11.30pm . Like oh my god . So early wake up rights ? I don't wanna go school . Especially , it's so tiring to go school two days in a row when it's a holiday ! This sucks .

It's really ironic on how people say they care about you but actually they don't . How people say they want to be with you forever , but they leave you hanging on a thread. How people say they love you for life , but leave with another person . How people say they only miss you , but miss a thousand people . Those whom are jealous will act as if they don't care . It's not because they really don't care , but they are preventing them to get mad and start showing their feelings in front of you . And when they start showing , you will side the girl whom is much more important to you , and they can't be friends with you anymore . People suppress feelings not because they want to , but they need to .

Time will slip through your fingers .

2010-09-06T21:30:00.004+08:00

Boy: What happened?
Girl: He broke up with me. In front of everyone.
Boy: That bastard. I'm gonna screw him over tomorrow.
Girl: No, please don't. There's enough drama already.
Boy: He broke your heart! He made you cry more than once already. He deserves to get beat up.
Girl: No, please. I don't want any drama.
Boy: I have to. He's just gonna keep fucking up some other girl's life after this.
Girl: Please, I'm begging you don't. I appreciate it, but please. Stop being so protective.
Boy: Protective? Of course I have to be protective. Because if I'm not here to watch over you, who will? I'm the only one that's gunna be by your side always and forever. But you still don't know it. You still don't understand why, do you? You don't understand why I'm willing to do whatever it takes to please you. After all this time, you still don't know. Well, you wanna know why? I love you, I freaking love you. Ever since I met you. I've never stopped loving you. I've seen you cry over so many guys, seen you "love" them and whatnot. And it hurts me so fucking much, but because I love you, because I care for you, I haven't walked away. I've stayed with you, to make sure you'd be happy. I wanted you to always be happy, for you to always smile. And because I love you, I've done everything I could for you. And it kills me inside, everyday, to know that you don't feel the same way, and you never will.

Such a touching story , like omg (Y) .

There's ABRSM exam tomorrow . Omgomg , I damn freaking nervous . Prays that we will get at least a silver for the exam . Today's choir was off the hook . The clinician was awesome . She's damn friendly and her voice rocks . I'm seriously telling you . But it's kinda irritating when she stops us almost every single minute , but still ... She's awesome (: Love the way she sings . But when she conducts , our voice like super damn soft o.o ! Ugh , I wish she would just put us in a one by one mixed formation . It would be so freaking cool . Somemore , I can sing already (Y) . Her choir like machiam scary cans . 4 practices a week for peak months . But gold with honours choir leh , of course la :D Whatever !! She talk to us , and etc . It was kinda inspiring . Must have determination and confidence !! (Y) Ok , over and out !!

It's really hard to hold to the feelings that you have always held.
To treat someone as ordinary when in fact he is very special.
To keep clam, though you're obvious jealous.
To move on your own, with an empty and totally wounded heart.
To smile even in deep pain.
To let go of the person you dreamt forever with.
To accept reality of being just friends and to give up everything.
Even if you feel like trying deep down inside.

Exactly what I'm feeling right now .

Love is a mystery .

2010-09-05T17:31:00.003+08:00

There's choir tomorrow , ugh . Lucky there's only one day of choir practice or else I will kill Mrs Poon . Some clinician is visiting us tomorrow . Ohya , let's clean our voice !! Guess it would be kinda awesome anyways .

Tuesday , there's the ABRSM exam . We have to like wake up so freaking early just to go there , hope nobody will be late (Y) . Three awesome songs , hope we are gonna get Gold !! I would be so freaking happy if that happens !

Having amaths and emaths makeup lessons on wednesday . Arg , maths subjects are killing me ): Chloe is accompanying me during emaths , thanks bitch :D And I don't even like going to school having to hear Ms Tang talk :/

And thursday , there's chinese oral . Omgomg , I can't flunk this ): But whatever ! Only passage and conversation , awesome !!

I will just like you quietly . I know someone's much important to you than me . But it's alright . I wouldn't tell you I'm falling in love with you , but you must be happy kays ? I'm falling for you , ♥

Sweet .

2010-08-28T23:36:00.001+08:00

A Hug
Originally uploaded by greenwatermelon

It's heartbreaking . You're such a jerk . I'm a fool to trust you . I'm tired of going to school nowadays . Especially when I don't know when a breakdown's gonna come . You will get your karma soon . Beware . But I wanna see you suffer . I wanna be there , looking at you . This is what you will get . Bastards . Guys are jerks , especially you.

Hey peoples ! I'm getting a polaroid camera soon , all thanks to my uncle (Y) . I wonder what colour to get . White or Brown . Arg , so boring these days . Breakdown , lies , true colours , god damn . God , please create better guys , cause those in the world are hurting woman . Bastards . Ok , bye !! (Short update , because I doubt anyone's reading it) .

Let it be an unexpected beginning and a fairytale ending .

Over .

2010-08-27T22:53:00.003+08:00

Guys are jerks . Especially you . I can't smile anymore . I miss you but I know the truth . I knew everything that happened . Please get lost of my life . I gotta let you go . Set me free . The story below is awesome (:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

Smile .

2010-08-23T22:08:00.004+08:00

I know of the fact that you might never come back . I just have to prepare for the heartbreak I'm gonna get on October 12 . But never mind , I ought to move on rights ? Prepare for the worse and hope for the best . Part of me know you will come back , but part of me is losing hope . I miss you , I love you , but I gotta let you go . If we were meant to be , we will still be together when the time comes . I will be there for you , always there . Lean on me whenever you need me . Just being there for you , already makes me happy . Twenty's good luck on your life . Tell me when you need me , I will always be there .

English : Awfully boring . Need to do a compo on the mtv we watched last Friday . I don't know how to write , oh-so-bored . It's like from every point of view , it seems so freaking common . Gosh , lousy me . I rather have those one word compo . And the worse part is , Ms Murty said this might be the last time she covering on narratives . Oh god , I WANT COMPO !!
Emaths : Finally understand what Ms Tang was teaching , so damn happy cans ^^v . I feel like a smart emaths student again . That's good rights ? (: I understand which rule is needed for each question ~ Yays , love it ttm (L) .
History : It's still the same old stuff . Ms Yeo finally got pissed off by the people who kept on talking in her class . Now , every start of the class , we have a mini-quiz . Shit you guys !!
Physics : Worse subject ever !!

I'm starting to get use of this kind of life .
Life knowing that love is never there .
I will miss you , but letting you go is a courage .
Smiling at your smile , is the only thing I can do .
Awaiting hurts , but it trains patience .
I love you , but I would rather you to be happy .

/ Jealousy is a sin .

Happy Birthday .

2010-08-20T23:50:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to me ,
Happy birthday to me ,
Happy to meeeeee ~~~~
Happy birthday to me ! (:

Woohoot , I'm offically 15 today . Thanks for those wishing me happy birthday ^^v Thru either calls , smses , face to face and facebook . Thanks for making this 15th birthday awesomeee :) Thanks to Edwin and Buddy for calling and sending me sms on 12am !! Awesome bestfs , agreed ?

Social Studies : It was great ! Laughter was non-stop I'm telling you . Played games like the fishing game (the one you will get when you're younger) and musical chair . The guys playing the game was totally epic . Funny ttvm (:
Chinese : I did my work quietly , it's amazing . Usually , I have to like bring home to complete it . So freaking proud of myself !!
Physics : I have no idea wtf the teacher is talking . I was like nodding , but in my mind I was like , "HUH ?!" . Hahhahaha , so super weird and fun :P
English : Szehua that girl scored for another good compo . I sooooo wanna beat her someday , roars ! I got like a 17/30 , sooo lousy . My godness . Then , Ms Murty wrote out the three topics on the board . She wrote Rage as Rape , funny !! Watched a korean mtv , super sad eh ): Then Ace was like crapping about porn , laugh out loud much ?!

After school was totally A-W-E-S-O-M-E !! Yeeying handed me the giant teddy bear , omgomg !! Cia and Shermayne went to buy the cake . Cool , love it :) Had a wonderful birthday . And Szehua was texting , sad ! x; Went to csm for lunch with A.S.H.Y !!

Went for dinner at Iluma , nicenice ^^v . But the egg was too salty , yucks ! x.x Watching After Shock tomorrow . Yays !!

To those that wish me on facebook and audition , you're awesome ppls !! <3
Calls : Edwin & Barry !
Smses : Joanna , Junwei (Dajie) , Joshua , Jingxuan , Peisi , Darren (Airen) , Gerald.L , Chloe.L , Evan.C , Jiunlong , Shermayne , Jiahui , Eb , Buddy , Cia , Lipeng , Peiwen , Yeeying , Eunice.L , Khystelle , Geek , Kahyan , Rongheng , Atiqah , Dorcas , Hongtat , Bloodbond , Bingxiang , Clement , John , Edmond , Pc !
Face-to-Face (not included those name that has been repeated): Joyce.O , Yosep , Shirley.P , Rq , Teresa , Melvin , Joanna's Idiot , Camy , Peiyun , Ken , Fangcheng , Evan , Minmin , Xinyun , Jiawen , Joyce.E

Intensified .

2010-08-11T21:37:00.002+08:00

Kiss
Originally uploaded by Martin Neuhof | martin-neuhof.com

I want a boy who would hold my hand in line at the mall & make all the girls jealous.
I want someone who would sing to me at random moments.
Someone who is more goofy than romantic.
A boy who would throw stuffed animals at me when I’m acting dumb.
Someone who would bet me kisses that he could beat me at all the old playstation games and then let me win.
A guy who would make fun of me just to hear my laugh.
He’d play with my hair all the time & surprise me with 25 cent rings.
Someone who I could share lollipops with & lay on a blanket with to count the stars.
We’d buy tons of disposable cameras to take the silliest pictures of each other & squirt water guns at each other in the house.
But mostly ; some who would be my best friend & would never break my heart.
He would just always make me smile.

我從來都不說不 , 不是因為我願意 , 是因為我愛你 .
我從來都不生氣 , 不是因為我沒有脾氣 , 是因為我愛你 .
我從來都不哭 , 不是因為我沒有眼淚 , 是因為我 ...愛你

I passed Chinese and Chemistry ! (: All like borderline pass only lehs , sad . But nvm , I pass . Better than failing it rights ? I sooo wanna get this common test over with . But I confirm fail my amaths , shit . Physics tomorrow , sheesh ! Ok , anyone wanna read my story ? LOL 9 more days to my birthday (L) I wonder what surprises I will get that day . I hope a lot a lot :) I love surprises . And I miss him too .

Maybe , just maybe , you still love me .

Challenges .

2010-08-08T19:32:00.003+08:00

Here is the 30 day letter challenge for Tumblr, you are supposed to write a letter to several different people.

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Suppose to post it on tumblr , but I rather post it here . Stay tuned :)

Nostalgia .

2010-08-04T19:52:00.006+08:00

When you constantly can’t stop thinking of him. When you wait for him to go online, or when you wait for a phone call or when you wait for a text. When you see something and it reminds you of him. When you talk about him to your friends, a lot. When you start to read over messages, saved conversations or you replay moments of your life with him in your head. When you realize that when you’re out, you look around to see if you “accidentally” bump into him. When you hope to talk late that night again, like you two would used to. When you realize your friends get sick of you talking about him. When you want to hug him again, or kiss him, or just be with him. When you listen to songs and you think “This was our song.” When you go somewhere and you reminisce on what happened there with him. When you think of him before you go to sleep. That’s when you know you miss him.

Hello to everyone single one that is reading my blog right now :) ! It's been like erm , more than a week since I've posted (super long) Common test is going on right now , study time ): English , History and Chemistry are so over-rated ! Gosh , Chinese and Computer Studies tomorrow , I so wanna sleep ! 1 chinese compo and 1 english compo to goooo , goodluck Hazel !

Common Test : It was ok , hope I pass ! *cross fingers* Better than the mid-year by a lot !

Emaths : Emaths was super boring . But I had 27/30 for my class test 4 ^^v Yays , so freaking happy . But the problem is , I still don't understand tangents . Sheesh ! ): It's like so freaking hard lohs . I understand everything except that stupid chapter , fucked up !

Amaths : Mr Chan told us that the previous chapters was just chapter 8 of emaths . Ohmygod , I knew it ! The previous formulas was so easy , it's like something's amiss . It was super right ! Kinda fun too , went to sit with Qingqing :)

Recess : I tell you , the food I ate was so disgusting T-T So freaking hot , with tons of chili cans !! The stall owner should put a sign "THIS FOOD IS COOKED WITH CHILI" . *burned lips*

Social Studies : Did source base , I like Ms Yeo . A thin girl with loud voice ! (:

Chinese : It was boring as usual . Nothing to say about it . Ms Lin is becoming stricter . Saw yellow forms , omfg . I didn't hand up one compo , hope I don't get dc for that !!

Chemistry : Metals !!

Computer Studies : Nicenice , did a study plan for the project . It was awesome .

Choir : I sooo don't like it now ): Especially because of you-know-who(s) !

You know what ? All of my cousins are affected by the Hand Foot Mouth Disease . Sheesh , hate it . Every single time went I reach home , it's like so freaking empty . Only with my grandparents around . Gosh , I want them back . I wanna be talking to every single one of my cousin until I'm irritated by them . I miss them so effing much cans ? Ohya , I miss him understand ?!?!

Weakness .

2010-07-24T20:25:00.003+08:00

I hope you see this . I really miss seeing you every single day of my life . I miss being hug by you tightly whenever I see you . I miss watching movies with you , hearing you laugh at me when I cry . I miss you being a maid just t make me laugh . Oh god , i miss you so much . I love you . I wanna see you on my birthday , but I guess it's impossible rights ? Talk t me while you cans okay ? I hope I can see you on October 12th too . (L) That includes , your birthday ! I wanna celebrate with you . I hope , on October 12th , it's not a disappointment . It's pure happiness :)

Misery .

2010-07-22T15:15:00.001+08:00

LOVE
Originally uploaded by Little Nora

Day 4 - Without you , life seems difficult to go on .

Went t watch inception on tuesday . It spells A.W.E.S.O.M.E . It was so freaking epic ! The main guy character was from titanic eh , cool rights ? Love it :) I love the waking up up from dreams !!

Await .

2010-07-18T19:19:00.002+08:00

Baby , the countdown starts now . 86 days . I love you :) Wait for me , would you ? I miss you . I'm waiting , wait for me too .

Twenty's .

2010-07-14T21:00:00.003+08:00

(A post for twenty's . You all don't hav t read it .)

Hope you're got a chance t read this . I love you and I always will . It's ok if your hp gets taken away . Tht will make concentrate on your N levels better right ? So , you must not hui xin , fight til the end dearest ass :) I want t see As' in your result slip , or else I'll bash you up !! We might not be able t meet up , but our hearts are still joined up as one ! <3 All the best in your n lvl , actually gonna give you a surprise next tuesday , but it's over . But nvm ! Gonna give you a surprise on sunday , (L) Hope you will like the prezzies . Ohya , I'm gonna post things about you in this blog everyday (maybe xp) for you t read . Must remember and miss me . Lastly , love me .

Cause being apart , makes the heart yearns for more .

And it also test the strong-ness of the love .

Trust me , I'll wait .

Vows Of Sunset ; Pageone (edited)

2010-07-11T12:50:00.002+08:00

Vows of Sunset
Children’s laughter filled the beach. They sounded so happy, so free. Those memories are the ones I miss the most. Being carefree when I’m young and naive, running across the beach in my homeland. But we could never go back, to the beautiful childhood we once had. I snapped myself back into reality as the wave crash loudly onto the beach. The lighthouse shines brightly onto the deep blue sea, guiding the boats to the port. I walk towards the bay of the sea carefully, in order not to step on the sandcastles near me which the children carefully build. The clear blue water at the bay splashed upon my worn slippers, washing away the dirt on them. I watch the dirt ran through the long and wide sea, as I wonder what lies under the surface of it. The view at the beach was magnificent even though it was never perfect. The sky was in dark orange, with the clouds playing in the sky. The sun sets down and waits for the arrival of the moon. Families around me are packing up to go home for dinner with their children whining to stay longer. I chose to stay there; the dark orange sky attracts me. The powerful wind blow against my face, my hair flies backward fearsomely. The smell of the waves and wind overpowered me. I felt as though I’m back to where I was in the past. The beautiful childhood I once had, and gone. In between my thoughts, I cried. I thought of that (a boy’s name) when I was little; the guy who swept me off my feet. Suddenly, a hand wrapped around my body. I stay for a while, closing my eyes, enjoying the experience of being hugged so closely and tightly. It was like a beautiful dream, more like an illusion. I could not tell. The way this person held me was so different. It felt as though I was a little child again. I smiled for the first time in ten years. He kissed me on the cheeks, his lips felt so soft and tender. Butterflies start to flutter in my stomach as I start to turn to look at the person, but that person was gone. I look around the lonesome beach and I was the only one around in it. I sighed; I miss (a boy’s name). I am so foolish; it had been ten years since he left. The vow he never kept. Just then I woke up. It was all a dream, as expected. Ten years without being able to see the guy’s looks. Is this a nightmare or purely a dream? I hoped it to be real, but if it was, I could never see the guy’s face at all. I stand up lazily and reach for the long curtains to open out to a whole new world.

The sunrays blinded my eyes; I closed my eyes and saw the lonesome beach appear. Then I opened my eyes slowly, it was all gone. The scene that replaced it was buildings of tall houses and roads filled with cars full of families. It was a Saturday morning; families were going out for a day outing. Most parents need not work on weekends, they all look happy with their children around. A couple of chirping blue birds flew towards my window. I see them sing happily by my side. The way they sing, they sang from their souls, warming the hearts of people whom they were singing to. So, at this point of time, they were warming my heart too. The cold and heartbroken heart they are singing to. I cried. Their songs of love made me think of that guy I called (a boy’s name). The guy I knew since birth, the one I loved the most and never forget. And the one that broke my heart ten years ago and never did bother to mend it. He was gone. I loved him with my heart and soul but he disappeared without a trace. I love him, and always will.

@ Copyrighted !
Written by Hazel.L (:

Awesome .

2010-07-05T21:59:00.002+08:00

Went out with Twenty's just now . It was awesome ! And did I mention he was meeting my mummy ? It was sooooooo weird . Meet him at city square around 11.30pm . He was late , mind you ! Brought floding stars (: It was meant t be a surprise .__. Guess wht 124 means youself (to Twenty's) :D

Took the shuttle bus t novena ! I didn't even dare t go in , til like after 10mins ?! Woah , tht's long . Mummy provided money for us t watch movie and food , LOLOL . It was damn weird cans ? After tht , went t take mrt t plaza singapura . Eclipse ! (L)

The queue was freaking long cans ? Queue until the escaltor there , it was awful ttm . Plus the tickets were selling fast . Thn we decided t go cathy t watch eclipse , guess wht ? The queue was damn long too . So , we had t queue up in the end . Got tickets for the 3.30pm , was quite early thn . We travelled back t plaza sing , LMAO .

Slack around at ZoneX , played a few games ? It was nice . One of them includes basketball . Twenty's was like sooo epic fail , funny die ! Saw Andre , Weiloon , Zhaoen and Darren . Was so damn shocked .__. Ohya , saw minmin and sipin too :) Travel bac t Cathy again !

Brought wintermelon tea ;smil . He brought two smal bottles of dk wht ? It cost $4.30 tgt , and mine only cost $2.30 . I think he thinks money too much le ! Brought nachos and hotdog , and t the movies we go . The theatre was packed and big ^^v The hotdog was awesome cans .

3.5/5 for eclipse ! The fighting part was awesome , other thn tht everything was a drag ! During the movie , got a call from mummy . She said my granny invited him for dinner , O.O ! Shocked tio .

The scene in my grandma house was epic sia . Ryan keep scolding me , Quinn was so excited t hav another playmate . But overall , it was a awesome day :)

OHYA , JIAYOU FOR YOUR ORAL TMR !! (L)

Twenty's (:

Love.

2010-07-05T00:46:00.002+08:00

B a c k !, originally uploaded by n o r a ♥.

When we were young , the hardest choice of all , was choosing a perfect crayon for your drawing . But now , every choice you make , makes an impact on your life . So wht can you do ? Throw a dice ? It doesn't work . Follow your instincts and do wht's right (:

Gonna bring him t meet my mummy later , like omg cans ?! Super damn excited yet nervous until cannot sleep . Damn nervous sia , later my mummy nag here nag there , very embarrassing eh !

Ohya , the worse part is ! My daddy is outside nagging me t close my lappy ? Like wtf ? I haven't even use for an hour , -.- plus , tomorrow is youth day eh ): If he want t cut down on the money usage , he should STOP smoking and buying 4D . Maybe it's his money , so wht ? In the future , I'm also using my OWN money t care for them . Gosh !!

Anyways , the syf opening is overrrrrr ! (: This year syf opening was LAME . But I'm still hyper in the end , LOLOL . Kept slapping Licia <: She needs t wake up . Tht bastard doesn't deserve her -'-

Ok , gtg ! Stupid daddy nagging . You knw wht he say ? "跟你讲几次了 , 不要这么晚用电脑" . And the problem is , this is the first time he's saying this . Lame ttm !

Twenty's ! Congrats ok ? (: Hope you get lots and lots of advertistment t shoot . But don't pangseh me hor ): Later get famous jiu forget wo le ! See you later , love you ttm

Stars.

2010-06-30T20:45:00.003+08:00

Watched Karate Kid yesterday , it was awesome :) ! Love the movie , especially with twenty's around ! He treat me t movies , in the end he watched the movie before ! Lied t me , so sad rights ? The kungfu was so cool in the movie . It shows tht with a bad teacher there's a bad student :D

Today was super boring cans ? I'm starting t hate maths , oh god . I wanna be in Miss Ang class . Heard tht it's better thn my current emaths class . I almost slept in emaths and amaths , bored ttm ! Chinese wasn't better either .

Choir was bad . The teachers wouldn't rehearse with us again . Oh damn , I don't want t embarrass myself in front of sooooooo many people ! ):

Twenty's , loves

I love you ! (:

Peaceful.

2010-06-29T23:31:00.003+08:00

Holidays ended two days ago and school's a drag . I miss having Miss Ang in our class every morning nagging us . Speaking the truth , I don't really like our co-form teacher and our chemistry "relieve" teacher . They don't really teach well . And I heard from Szehua , maths would hav no separate classes . Guess wht ? I'm with my co form teacher . I want Miss Ang ! I like her teaching wayyyyyyyyyyyy much better thn coform .

And don't get me started on the chemistry teacher . I don't even understand wht she's teaching . She seems like she's talking t the wall . And you knw wht's the best part ? She can't even control the class , oh great . I was Mrs Ho back ! I don't want them t split the chemistry class too ):

Ohya , did I mention I dislike them ? (P.S : I ain't suppose t say negative words because Mrs Wong says negative hurt , postive words \m/) . So , dislike is better thn hate rights ? I'm so guai rights ? Hahaha , I just finished english assignment 1 :) ! Yupppy ^^v

Last but not least !

~~English 1 2~~ last article , ~~Emaths~~ almost ! , Amaths , Ss , History , Chinese , ~~Chemistry~~ .

Woah , so much more ): And I hav t hand up chinese and amaths by this week , english by thursay . Oh geees , help !! I WANT MORE HOILDAYS /:

2010-06-27T16:49:00.001+08:00

Jun Jie Here ,
Helping This Silly Girl Post ,
But I Dk what to post neh ,
Anw I Like Her :D

Happiness .

2010-06-26T21:09:00.003+08:00

Gosh , school's reopening soon ! I haven't finish my homework . -freaking out- I'm soooo gonna die . But thn , I hav choir from 8am-12pm on monday ;winks ! So , one more day for me t slack . I miss my mates ): Gonna see them on monday ;smil ! I kinda miss the noise in my class ! Chloe's kisiao-ness , Joanna's drama-ness andand Szehua's emo-ness x: ! Ok , blog finish ! Quiz time !

Do you think there's anyone who's in love with you?
- Yaaa , him x:

What are you thinking right now?
- Twenty's ;winks :D

When you're unhappy, will you show it to your friends?
- Yea ):

Did you just told someone that ILYS? Who?
- Yes ! Twenty's :)

Did anyone just told you that they're always there for you? Who?
- Alot leh . Twenty , Buddy , Yeeying , Alicia , Airen , Geek , Piglet and etc !!

You had a bestfriend from an opposite sex?
- Yupyup , and they're awesome !

Pass this quiz to 15 peoples: (All randomly chose.)

1. Twenty (L) .
2. Buddy :) !
3. Yeeying :) !
4. Alicia :) !
5. Airen :) !
6. Geek :) !
7. Piglet :) !
8. Elmobuddy :) !
9. Bloodbond :) !
10. Babyheart :) !
11. Bitch :) !
12. Sandy :) !
13. Bestf :) !
14. Justin.T :) !
15. Soonjie :) !

Who's number two ? Describe her. (Buddy)
- My buddy :) ! She's awesome cans !

Who's the closest to you in your list? How do you know that person? (Twenty)
- Twenty , duh ! (: -secret-

Who's number one? Is she pretty? (Twenty)
- My dearest ! Duhhhh , but it's handsome <:

Who's the oldest in your list?
- Waitwait , IDK ! Justin.T ? Airen ? Twenty ? Soonjie ? Or maybe Geek ?! Arg !

Who do you like the person's character best?
- Twenty ! He always make me laugh <:

Who's number ten dating with now? (Babyheart)
- Benza x:

Who is the last person that you said ILYS to?
- Twenty , :) !

Who's number six dating with? (Geek)
- Him and himself <:

Do twelve know fifteen? (Sandy & Soonjie)
- Nah :) !

Do one know eleven ? (Bitch)
- Broken english ! I knw her <:

Do five know seven ? (Piglet & Airen)
- Nope , but I knw them <:

If number four snatches away your boyfriend/girlfriend,what will you do? (Alicia)
- She has her own boyf :P

Among number one to four(exclude number four), who are you closest to?
- Twenty x:

Among all, who's the prettiest?
- All of them !! <3

Among one to seven(exclude number seven), who's the one you know earliest?
- Alicia , Yeeying and Buddy !

This is the last, ask those peoples to do the quiz?
- I don't want ;smil

2010-06-15T20:31:00.002+08:00

uhh. Hi. I am a random person. Hazel asked me to blog for her. so yea.

anyway i've known her for less than 4 days, never met, never heard her voice but i know she's an awesome girl with a bright future ahead. Cheerful, nice, kind and you know. I presume everyone who is reading this is her friend so you should know.

but anyway as her friends lets all try to keep that bright,young and cheerful smile on her face. She may get sad, moody and down sometimes and thats what we are here for. right?

She's a talented writer, knowing how to express her emotions in her way of words with quotes and short stories. I wonder how talking to her in real life feels like? Maybe its like being in a story too.

Ok yea. thats all I got to sum up about her, how lucky of you all to have a great friend like her. and if you wonder who am I, well.. you can go to her list of facebook friends and pick out a person, you have 0.19% chance of picking the person who posted this. C'mon hazel don't spoil out the fun. Ok cool. Have a nice day.

Messy .

2010-06-09T01:26:00.001+08:00

(Copied from Chloe , http://islapz.tumblr.com/) - 9/3/10

Anyway, went to tpy library today to do our ss project. My group is pathetic much, one of them is in msia, the other two are at home for god knows what reason. So it’s just me and hazel. But thankfully, we did the project with another group, which consist of more noisy ppl so i enjoyed my day.
After that, all of us except Shirley proceeded to watch Killers. The show is not bad, 3.5/5. I wouldn’t give it a 3 cuz it’s too low. Neither a 4 cuz it’s too high. Never a 5 cuz there’s no perfect movie. So I’ll just stick to 3.5 :)
When the credits started, hazel suddenly asked all of us to turn behind and we did. What we saw seriously corrupted our minds. We saw a couple making out. I’m not quite sure if it was really making out cuz it was really dark but still, GROSS man! They said that normal ppl make out during the movie, not when the credits are showing. Haha. And the way those 2 did it was just weird and wrong. Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher in the show did it much better. Sheesh, go get a room!

Will blog properly soon <:

Missing .

2010-05-31T16:03:00.001+08:00

missing, everything but the girl, originally uploaded by [auro].

# When he break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
# When she misses him, she’s hurting inside.
# When she says it’s over, she still wants him to be hers.
# When she walks away from him mad, follow her.
# When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight .
# When she ignores you, give her your attention.
# When she pulls away, pull her back.
# When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.
# When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.
# When she’s scared, protect her.
# When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
# When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.
# When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
# When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
# When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.
# Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
# Don’t let her have the last word.
# Say you love her more than she could ever love you.
# Argue that she is the best girl ever.
# When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.
# When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.
# Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.
# Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
# Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.
# Don’t ignore her when she’s out with you and your friends.
# Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.
# Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
# Let her into your world.
# Let her wear your clothes.
# When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her
# Let her know she’s important.
# When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”
# After someone reads this, she hopes one day you’d read it too.

At Ngee Ann nows :P
Soooooooooo fun :')

Rewind .

2010-05-29T13:23:00.001+08:00

Don't worry..........., originally uploaded by jwlphotography.

When I was young , I can get happy easily . But now , everythng changes . I change too . I wanna be happy again . I want a rewind . I could prevent those mistakes from happening . I loved you , I love you , I loved you . No , I love you .

I'm currently addicted t :
Jubeat
Audition
Th course in Ngee Ann <:

Me .

2010-05-26T17:36:00.000+08:00

Again , it's for th assignment :/

Video .

2010-05-26T16:15:00.000+08:00

This is for my assignment too :P

Assignment .

2010-05-26T16:11:00.001+08:00

(Look at my profile) .
My blog is about talking about my life ? O.O
And wht I do everyday (:

P.S : Assignment for AEM .

Runaway .

2010-05-26T15:43:00.003+08:00

by Maxk - If I Let You Go, originally uploaded by RbeeM.

Maybe you don't knw , but everyday I want t see you by my side . When I wake up in th morning , I wanna see you lying by my side . With those little small eyes staring right back at me , with you hugging me so tightly . I wanna kiss you again , but you're gone . I still miss you so deeply . Forget about her , and come back t me .

I'm at ngee ann poly nows <: Th module here is soooo cool :') I love it ttm . Yida & Kenneth is in this poly too . Coool rights ? Ok , gtg . Assignment time !! (:

Freedom .

2010-05-23T16:56:00.002+08:00

When I say I love you , I seriously do .
When I say I miss you , I seriously miss you .
Maybe I would say I'm joking , but I'm serious .
I knw you're with someone else , I would stop texting you .
But after all this times , I really miss you .
And I can't stop thinking about you .

Deception .

2010-05-21T21:18:00.002+08:00

I'm looking at th letters tht was suppose t be given t you , but I did not . I cry and cry , but I still can't forget you . I laugh at your jokes , I smile at your happiness . I cry when you're sad , I comfort you when you're unhappy . I seriously miss you . My head hurts when I cry about us drifting apart . I smile when th flashback of us appeared in my mind , I cry when I remember tht everything was gone . Th memories of us . I no longer dreamt of you , I no longer remember how your lips taste like . I'm walking around th places we once walk together , I love you .

I'm currently sick and emo . How great is tht ? Oh ya , I passed all my subjects , happydie . I thought I was gonna retain because I kept flunking my english . I'm starting t get amaths , isn't tht great ? I went t th dentist today , nicenice . Th nurse cleaning my teeth wanted t watch Lastsong too :') . Manage t slack in th car til phyics was almost over , twistwist . Love it !! Th bad news is , I forget how t start picture discussion , shit !! Geees .

Went for choir photo taking after school . It was like shit . I was so freaking hot and th stupid photographer hav t waste soooooo much time just t take a damn photo . Somemore , he use a ladder . Like wtf cans ? Stupid sia . And his stomach , 3 months old le la ! Sheeesh , andand ! He looks like tikopeh , >< (Quoted from Wenwen) After th photoshoot , went t th dentist and waited for Szehua :') Th aircon rocks \m/ epecially th nurse , lovedieher !! (L)

Went t city square mall with Alicia after all tht . It was awesome . Had a icecream feast !! Heard tht chocolates makes people happy ? So , I eat "plenty" today . Was talking heart t heart stuff with Alicia . She was duper sad ): Was talking with th Couple Lab auntie tooo , I miss her !! Conclusion : Everything happens for a reason ; 应获得副 .

I seriously need a hug ,

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious .

2010-05-17T21:37:00.005+08:00

If you wanted t get back , ask . Because , I would hav said yes . Cause I still miss you ,
Today was suppose t be a marking day , but instead choir hav a rehearsal for SYF opening . We forgot almost all of th steps , heh . Tomorrow we're going t Cedar Secondary t rehearsal . Gosh , It would be a total embarrassment .
Watched "The Last Song" after choir with Alicia and Yeeying :') Saw Yongliang and his crew , we were trying t avoid them , but was seen anyway . Went t eat at th kopitam , went through 22 hours without eating . -twistwist- Ate th japanese food , th miso soup was awesomeee \m/ . Usually I wouldn't even bother giving second drink , but I finished th soup !! Nicenice !! Saw Jesslyn and Audrey in Comics Connection , was supeeer shock cans . Went up t th cinema t go in , but saw Chloe instead . She's watching "The Last Song" too , Sheesh . Stalker :p .
Th movieee was awesomeee . I loved it alot - (because I cried alot) . Geees . Rating 5/5 !! Hah , beat tht Miley haters !! Hmphs , don't like jiu don't like lo . But she looks awesome in th movie . With her current boyfriend , and she got a nose piercing in th movie . Cooolz ;D Went home after tht , of course . Gosh , checking exam papers tomorrow . Doomsday !! :'(
You just don't understand me at all .
If you did , you would hav let me go ,
Unbelievable .

Melancholic .

2010-05-16T22:26:00.002+08:00

Just because I’m quiet, doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to say. Just because I appear happy, doesn’t mean everything is okay. Just because I forgive, doesn’t mean I forget. Just because I don’t listen to your problems, doesn’t mean I don’t care. Just because I’m gullible, doesn’t mean I can be cheated. Just because I’m stubborn, doesn’t mean I’m not easy going. Just because I don’t study, doesn’t mean I’m stupid. Just because I don’t show my feelings, doesn’t mean I don’t have any. Just because I’m honest, doesn’t mean I’m outspoken. Just because I’m not like you, doesn’t mean I’m weird. Just because I’m unsure, doesn’t mean I’m afraid. Just because I don’t love you, doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings for you.

(from : http://kyersayhello.blogspot.com/)

Th whole day was such a bored . I tried finding stuff t do , but there was nothing t do . Th best part was , I found a senior from Bendemeer in Audition ^^v . Coool orh ? Andand , I only ate one meal for th day ! I'm an Choshinsung fan <3 ! Geonil ftw la ;D . (insert many hearts) Watching one million stars right now , th Fatty singing "My heart will go on" . Nicenice \m/ . Plus , this fatty supeeer cuteee . There's choir tomorrow , gosh ;eeks . From 9am t 1pm leh , sianned . Ok la , buhbye !! (:

- let me go ,

Photography .

2010-05-16T00:33:00.007+08:00

Went t eat at Parkway there , t celebrate a belated Mother's Day celebration . It was awesome , though there was a very cocky diva old bitch :/ . Th food was okok la , except for some x: . But , it served my favourite dessert !! Yam paste :D <3 . Was texting Bloodbond & Bestfriend , both of them wanted it :p ;shyshy . Went on a photography ramage , was camwhoring everywhere . Ohyaaa , did I mention I LOVE YAM PASTE ? I did , didn't I ? ;p

I think I screwed up my mid-year exams . Well , at least I did my best rights ? I think I'm most confident in my History exams . I hope I can pass my History exams with flying colours . Actually th hardest was actually A LOT of them . I'm gonna get creamed by my-so-many exams . Sheesh , next week's Parent's Meeting Day . I'm gonna die , and die again !! ):

P.S : I'm watching Brilliant Legacy , so I'm going off nows ! :p Buhhhhbyeee <3

Forlorn .

2010-05-12T21:37:00.002+08:00

I'm already Missing you., originally uploaded by їνỷ.

I miss you . I miss your smile . I miss your laugh . I miss hugs . I miss your text . I miss your kisses . I miss th way you look at me . Maybe you don't knw , maybe you wouldn't care . But I miss you so much . Be happy , be alive . I miss your scent tht lingers on my skin . I'm remembering th memories together , I'm crying . Dearest , be happy . Remember tht I'll always be here . I love you . Your happiness is th thing tht's keeping me alive . Always be happy in your life , Aishiteru . (inserthearts)

Runaway .

2010-05-09T18:01:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you just need to runaway to see who will come after you..., originally uploaded by ♥jade♥.

Wht if I ran away someday ? Would anyone bother t run after me ? Would you notice my disappearance ? Would you come looking for me ? Or would you stay here and say , "I don't give a damn t her disappearance" . Sometimes , you just need t runaway just t see whose going after you . Just t see whose worth th wait and whose not . It would be nice just t realise tht you're holding my hand , telling me not t runaway . Telling me not t leave him while holding my hands tight . Th tears of happiness would start t drop off my black eyes , making my vision unclear . I just want you t show me tht you cared about me . By your actions and not words . You knw , actions speak louder thn words . I don't need those mushy words for you t tell me you love me , your actions matters alot . But now , I doesn't seem like you cared . Runaway , runaway t a faraway place . Where someone's waiting for you .

Sweetness .

2010-05-03T18:15:00.002+08:00

Wall lettering, Wall quotes, letters, Life quote by Aijographics.com LIFE IS NOT MEASURED, originally uploaded by Aijographics.com.

I spend my time thinking about th memories of us being together . I take my time , looking at all those memories captured by us . It's really sweet and kind of cute . It's all captured in a mild of second . Those tiny details behind th camera , those moments tht never ends . Th little kisses tht took my breath away . Th feelings are real nice , and wonderful . I miss them . I miss you . I wanna be with you always , take care dearest . Do not let anything harm you , be safe . For life .

♥ 150410 ; 1709

Breathless .

2010-05-02T18:50:00.001+08:00

You may conquer with the sword, but you are conquered by a kiss, originally uploaded by .craig.

Sometimes when I kiss you , I can feel you smiling . I can feel you getting breathless . I can feel your tongue playing with mine . I got breathless , but I didn't wanted t stop . Maybe you didn't notice , I was falling deeper into th trap of your love . I began laughing at every single thing you said . I began dreaming of you . I miss you whenever you're away from me . I get worried whenever you say he's back . I get scared everytime you told me about your history . I'm scared you'll leave me someday . You seems so vulnerable , I'm afraid . I don't wanna lose you . Your history made me realise tht you might die anytime of th day . I can say becareful , but I can't take care of you . You're always at risk , sometimes I really don't knw wht t do . I just say I'm just a girl .

Superhero .

2010-04-28T21:16:00.001+08:00

Marvel Superheroes, originally uploaded by Somoza Photography.

Everyone needs a superhero once a while . Well , I do too . Superhero are those people who goes around th town saving victims of crimes . Sometimes , I admire them . They hav th powers t save people while I don't . If I do hav th choice of having super powers , I would want th power of making people happy . I don't want anyone t be unhappy or wht so ever . I want them t be cheerful as th bright shinning sun . Being sad about useless things are so wasteful of time . People should spend their time being happy , being hyper or maybe jumping around . Superhero makes people happy . Like th power puff girls , they save th town from th battles of evil . Maybe it's kinda lame for you all , but not me . They are superheros , but wht can normal people do ? Some of them just wanna be happy .

Betrayal .

2010-04-27T21:10:00.001+08:00

Fairytale Castle, originally uploaded by SutherlandAddict.

If I hav a chance , I would want t be a fairytale princess . They get t wear gowns , and look pretty . They don't get hurt by their love ones . They always hav a happily ever after . Unlike real life , we hav t search for our faithful love ones . It's not as if he would appear right in front of you and says , "Hello , I'm your prince . Marry me" . Well , tht's never gonna happen . Th fairytale princess just hav t suffer a little thn wait for her dashing prince t come and save her . Just like Snow White . She ate th poison apple and fall into deep sleep . After tht , she just hav t sleep until her prince kiss her . Woah , wht an easy life . They can always be happy , but we can't . Th pretty dreams of ours can never come true , but they got it so easily .

Disappointment .

2010-04-25T12:02:00.002+08:00

Someday , I would travel around th world . I would take photos of all th different moments . I would treasure each and every second being with th nature . Like watching th sunrise and th sunset at th beach everyday , breathing in th air in th countryside . I would love th photography of photos I hav taken . I would keep them in a photo album . A photo album full of my memories , full of exploring life . Sometimes , I admire those ever soaring birds in th sky . If they want t , they could fly all around th world . Although they hav no camera t photograph it , but I admire them . They hav t ability t fly high up in th sky . They could say hello t th clouds out there . They hav a chance t follow a rainbow from one end t another . It just feels so wonderful . If I hav t chance t choose wht animal I wanna be next lifetime , I would be a soaring bird . Even though they hav short lifespan , they had a chance . Th chance of soaring high ,

Prediction

2010-04-24T17:01:00.002+08:00

195 - You can only blame your problems on the world for so long., originally uploaded by whatmegsaid.

"You can predict th end of a story , but you can never predict th end of our love" .
I never thought it would end up tht way . I look back at th memories we shared , and you knw wht ? They're long forgotten .

(Amazing grace ! How sweet the sound , that saved a wretch like me ! I once was lost but now am found Was blind, but now I see . 'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear , And grace my fears relieved ; How precious did that grace appear The hour I first believed ! Through many dangers , toils , and snares , We have already come ; 'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far , And grace will lead me home . The Lord has promised good to me , His word my hope secures ; He will my shield and portion be As long as life endures . Yes , when this flesh and heart shall fail , And mortal life shall cease , I shall possess , within the veil , A life of joy and peace . The earth shall soon dissolve like snow , The sun forbear to shine ; But God , who called me here below , Will be forever mine.)

Invisible .

2010-04-24T16:52:00.002+08:00

Hey people,Arull here,posting for Hazel . Well, that's it . See ya !

Lies .

2010-04-04T19:23:00.001+08:00

Please stop hurting me...., originally uploaded by pea2wenty3.

I can say it doesn't hurt anymore . But th truth is , it still hurts so much . I'm burying everything inside my heart . I can still smile , I can still laugh , but all of this hurts . I can see myself crying in th midnight of th night . I can see my tears dripping frommy eyes . Th eyes tht you once said , tht they are beautiful . Every single part of me , is hurting . I'm sick naos . But who cares anyway ? SML . I still love you , I still miss you . Why can't I just forget you ? You're such a bastard , yet I can't stop thinking about you . Your smiles tht made me laugh , your tight hugs . I wanna forget you . I can do tht , but for a few seconds only . Being alone makes me think of you more . God , please let me forget him . It hurts real bad . It's surprising when you realise th one you loved th most , could hav th heart t lie t you . Shityou .

Ironical .

2010-04-03T13:09:00.004+08:00

I look at th things you gave me . I smile and thought of those memories together . It was so lovely , but i was just daydreaming . You ain't here anymore . Your head rest upon someone you now love . Someone tht might be with you forever . I ain't gonna break you two up . I'm not a bitch . So , please lastlong . Maybe my other bestfriends were right , you were a bastard . I just didn't want t admit it . I cried , do you cared ? No . It's gonna leave a scar on me . But someday , when you look back into this , I want you t regret this . I love you like a gem , you treat me like this . But you knw wht ? I don't wanna care about it anymore . Someday , it wouldn't hurt anymore . But it's just not today . I will be stronger , not weaker . Th brokeup earn me a new bestfriend , he's awesome . I should thank you . My smile has never been real after th breakup , but once I smile truly , I knw I forgotten you . Th hurt would never affect me once more . But you knw , my bestfriends are th only ones tht can make me laugh til my stomach aches . After this , I just might stay single for a few months . I don't knw . Until someone right comes along . Til thn , I'll just hav my bestfriends as my accompany . And did I mention , they are awesome ? (:

Maybe .

2010-04-02T18:27:00.001+08:00

all of my excuses turn to lies..., originally uploaded by Veronika Obviate.

Maybe , just maybe , it wouldn't be pain anymore .
I don't knw whn is it gonna be , but .
I just want th pain t be gone .
I cried and cried .
I'm sick of it .
Get lost .

Your love is a lie

2010-03-24T22:10:00.001+08:00

Your love is a lie, originally uploaded by Ku Ếch.

I miss you so much .
Text me people ):

I ain't tht foolish

2010-03-20T14:17:00.001+08:00

jag saknar dig, originally uploaded by Laura Gommans.

I'm just foolish .
I trusted th wrong person .
But , I'm gonna happier .
Even happier thn before .
All thanks t you , bitch & bastard :D

i still love you

2010-03-14T19:51:00.001+08:00

i still love you, originally uploaded by InUrDreamzz.

Maybe I'm not your pretty little girl anymore .
I want you back ,

I Cry Myself to Sleep.

2010-03-13T11:23:00.001+08:00

I Cry Myself to Sleep., originally uploaded by graceenote.

Sometime , crying when I'm little feels better .
But now , I'm crying in th middle of th night thinking about you .

I'll Give You All I Can

2010-03-07T14:10:00.005+08:00

Tell me I'm pretty , Tell me I'm cute , Tell me you love me , And please be true .

I'm lying on my bed , thinking of you . Everything in your world seems to wrong . You're getting sadder by the day . But I can do nothing but watch your sms to me getting lesser . Actually I'm used to the silence in my phone . Maybe someday I would slowly disappear from everybody's life . But I will still remember the moments I laugh til I got a stomach pain , the moments I cried so hard til I can hear my heart break . But I would still miss you . People are slowly walking out of my life , I'm getting lonelier by the second . How ironic . I'm suppose to be the optimistic girl around my friends , but now . As time goes by , everything changes . But please , understand that I still love you .

Shutup & Kissme

2010-03-06T18:35:00.001+08:00

From Flickr.

huiminilina: Wht link ?
ïmpεrfëctsàndy: Okayz ;D
:SANDY ♥: Thanks babe ;D
weimin: Er , no ><
Xueyingz.: Heyz sweetlove ;D
Tiffany: Welcome :P
Shiori: Wht link ?
PEIXUAN.: Ya ;D

I'm tired & I miss you .
But to tell you th truth , I'm no longer happy .
I don't sound like Hazel anymore , everything is different .

English : 10/30
Emaths : -
Chemistry : 34/40
Physics : 25/40
Chinese : 34/50
Amaths : 17.5/35
History : 16/25
Computer Studies : 15/30
Social Studies : -

下一站,幸福
Next stop , happiness .
I love this show / phrase .
♥

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry for mia .
Internet was down .
Results are okay , I guess (:
Hais , I'm not dreaming of you anymore .
I seriously , miss you .

Ring ring , I love you

2010-02-26T17:36:00.000+08:00

Live Life Laugh (:
Im gonna flunk Amaths , English & History Common Test !
Ohya , Cheryl Honeybaby cheerup yoos ! <3
And baby , do you knw something , my room smells like you .
It felt as if I'm really at home .

31 Jan 10, 18:25 Tengteng: Thanks babe ;D
31 Jan 10, 18:03 SIHUI: Heyy ;D
31 Jan 10, 16:34 Hazel's Icecream: I love you too <3
26 Feb 10, 14:43 zirong: Wil link soon (:
24 Feb 10, 19:16 傻傻的恬蕙: Kkayz ;D
23 Feb 10, 15:11 Passerby: Er , choir . Haha .
21 Feb 10, 22:37 Jiaqi: Soon ;D
21 Feb 10, 19:41 Tiffany: Thanks babe ;D
21 Feb 10, 15:55 Xiao Lynn, ♥: Thanks highwaylove ;D
20 Feb 10, 16:28 : SANDY ♥: Thanks babe ;D
20 Feb 10, 15:20 Eunice.: Dearest ! Missyatoo !
20 Feb 10, 11:44 'Kahyan.: Thanks moomoo ! <3
19 Feb 10, 20:10 ♥; Babyting's: Heyy deargirl ! <3
19 Feb 10, 20:06 Jesslyn: Thanks xingan ;D
15 Feb 10, 13:00 ;♥}HUISHANNN: Hey nuer ;D
14 Feb 10, 15:42 ïmpεrfëctsàndy: Lazy pigg !
14 Feb 10, 15:12 TengTeng, ♥: Agreed !
14 Feb 10, 13:51 Tengteng: Thanks babe ;D
12 Feb 10, 16:44 JiaHui(:: Thanks babe ;D
8 Feb 10, 17:14 -xRETARDED: Relink soon ;D
3 Feb 10, 20:51 !JolynL, ;: Heyy RandomTwin ! <3
1 Feb 10, 15:01 Xiaocries: Yo !
31 Jan 10, 20:45 Cheryl.: Thanks dbt ;D

Sweetness Of Milk ,

2010-02-24T16:39:00.000+08:00

Relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.

Kaleel Jamison

Will post later .
P.S Finished Page 2 ;D http://whenths-unsets.blogspot.com/

When I start t love you bit by bit ,

2010-02-20T13:52:00.000+08:00

I love th way you grab me whenever I'm jealous .
I love th way you holds my hand asking whts wrong .
I love th way you raise you eyebrowns t make me smile .
I love th way your hair smells ever so right .
I love th way you fake cry t make me smile .
I love th way you carry me .
I love th way you look into my eyes .
I love th way you fix my fringe whn their messy .
I love th way you grab me whn I'm about t fall .
I love th way you pat me .
I love th way you pull me towards you .
I love th way you hug me ever so tighly .
I love th way your hand fits mine perfectly .
I love th way you wipe my tears whn I'm crying .
I love th way you say I Love You .
Icecream , I love you .

Whn Tears Starts To Fall ,

2010-02-19T17:56:00.000+08:00

I'm writing a story named "Vows Of Sunset" .
I will create a blog for you all t read if you all wana read O.O
http://whenths-unsets.blogspot.com/

45 things a girl wants but wont ask for:

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING

11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and
hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. it makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?

16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected,
plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies
something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just
hug her
24. Make her feel loved.
25. kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!!!!*

KEEP READING!!

26. don't lie to HER.*
27. DON'T cheat on her.*
28. take her ANYWHERE she wants
29. text messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at
work {or school}, and how much you MISS her.
30. be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need
you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you.*

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.*
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss
her).*
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will
automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin
up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT

36. When people DISS her, stand up for her.*
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.*
38. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while
you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her HAND.*
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as long as possible*

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call or text her at night to wish her SWEET DREAMS*
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears.*
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you love her.*
45.sit on top of her and tell her how much u love her and then bend down to
her face and kiss her while sitting on her.

P.S I love you (L)

2010-02-02T21:45:00.001+08:00

Okayy , I'm back ? LOL
I just wanna post this story :D .
Found in someone's blog .
I find it quite nice jiu post ! (:

What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten….. that I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show? Somehow, I wished I could have told her that I love her but now there’s no hope in doing so. For now, it’s rather too late…too late for me to do so.

She was my best friend and I have known her since we were small. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not
only because she’s pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love.

I could still remember the first time we met, I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to transfer at a neighboring state because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched it approaching and noticed a family station wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out came a family. I was about to glance away when out came the loveliest girl I’ve seen. She was four years old that time but then even at an early age she was a beauty. She had long curly hair, which reached almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which could make a man lose his heart into them. I continued to watch her when suddenly she looked up and saw me watching them in the tree house window. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved her hand. I waved back then watched in amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. So I went to the
edge of the ladder and said, “Would you like to come up?” she answered, “May I?” So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then
turned to me and said, “By the way, my name’s Sam, what’s yours?” I answered, ” My name is Christopher but then you can call me Chris.” She
smiled and said, ” Well i like your name. Hey your tree house’s neat!” then I replied, ” Thanks! troy and I made this. this used to be our hide out. We
used to goof around, play ball and go biking together. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you know.” She smiled and said “I’m here now,
we could do things you do with troy and I could be your new best friend too. i never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have
one. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?” I smiled and said, “Well
that sounds good enough.” Then she held her hand and said, “It’s a deal then!” So that’s how it started.

So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge
her like catching frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she tried and did everything just to please me. There was even a time when
she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. I could still remember the time when she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was i who talked to Mr. Chambers and promised to pay for the damage, which meant having to loose a weeks’s allowance. I remembered the time when I fell off the tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten because Sam was
near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Sam and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Sam crying as she placed an ice bag over the damaged eye and later gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to please her and gave everything her little heart desires.

The lake was our favorite hang out. We had our Saturday swim routine. We would pack food and later eat them under the big oak tree. There was a
special branch in which the two of us could sit together and tell each other’s dreams. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of
becoming a doctor. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. it made me like her even more.

As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I
started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something
different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I
could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the
water edge, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly
falling in love with my best friend.

Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I’d try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared
because she might think that I’m taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.

We reached the age of fifteen and I noticed that Sam grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch
their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. There were times when I watch her at a distance mixed feelings of anger and hurt because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.

Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor.
Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. She, being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team which
Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I
saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I’m feeling inside because of seeing
her with another guy.

Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. every time we
meet in hallways and I see him around her, there’s a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I
long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him as she passes by me she doesnt know that i whispher the words “God how I love you.”

Then one faithful day they broke up. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up to their break
up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe i would have the chance of telling her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she is crying her heart out just for him. At that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.

So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. we still enjoyed doing
childish pranks for we still are both young at heart. So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn’t bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her I love her. So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.

It was a week from our JS Prom, we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said, “I was
wondering Chris if you would like to be my partner?” It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me
awhile to answer her, “I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?” So she turned away and quietly said, “Well i just
thought I would like to spend that night with my best friend.” Then she continued in a whisper I could barely hear, “Don’t you want to die just
like them to be my partner Chris?” I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. We we’re silent for a while
until I finally whispered, “I would be happy to be your partner Sam.” The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy i
felt that time. I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying, “Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!” I ran slowed up so that i would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.

Our Prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I went to fetch Sam. Sam’s mother greeted me and I went
to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say, “How do I look?” I look up and saw her
lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my
voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, “To the loveliest girl in the whole world.” She then asked,
” Is that true?” I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her.

When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and
gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said ,” Would you give me the honor of your first dance?” She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to
the dance floor. It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to
me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair
were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most
beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most
was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I came close to
telling her, but still haven’t done it.

We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It
took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table, she was gone. I asked her friend, katie, where she was but she told me that she
doesn’t know. So I went and search for her. As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhoutte figures outlined by the moon’s silvery light. They were so close to each other. i could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress Sam was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium.

Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she
loves Mark and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope
crush and my heart break. I didn’t return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. in the hallways, as she approaches i would go to
another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I
kept my pride.

The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended,
she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me. there was something in her eyes I couldn’t describe. There was sadness in them and
when she smiled it wasn’t the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away
from me.

So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at
night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her. Each
achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I’m
worthy of having her.

It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and
during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As I got off the plane,
I went home directly, desperate to get to her house desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved
her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her.

I reached their house, I saw her older sister and I approached her. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn’t smile back. I was confused for she
used to be a cheerful lasy just like my dear Sam. I then asked,” Hi Jen! I guess you’re suprised why I’m here. Well I just want to visit you and I was
also hoping to see Sam. I kind of miss her you know. Ummm………bby the way have you seen her?” All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied
quietly, “Come follow me.”

I was confused with the way she’s acting but still i followed her. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but just
answered my questiond briefly. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the
same oak tree Sam and I used to climb up. I smiled upon remembering the kiss Sam gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It’s been one of the
happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Sam more than I thought. The Jen stopped walking and pointed to the tree. She then
whispered, “There’s Sam.”

I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and
desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up.

I stared at Jenny in disbelief with her eyes searching for explanations and slowly started saying,” It has been a week since she died. She died of
Leukemia, but eventhough she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to
bury her here for she always regard this place as a place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she
was with you. by the way, she also asked me to give you this.” She handed me a parcel and with that she left.

I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a
letter. It was dated las month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading……..

******************************

I know by this time you read this letter I’m gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like
you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Chris, not in a
friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed
each day that’s why the happiest days of my life was when you were by my side. You just don’t know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the
morning and dream no more for you are with me. When you are away, I can’t stop crying because I’m afraid to think that you are with another girl. I
just can’t bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that’s how I feel. Each time you held me
close to you was like a dream coming true for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was heaven. So many things I did so that
you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to full myself that
you’re in love with me too. So many nights I’ve cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I’m sayin are lies
but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love.

I know you might be thinking of Mark but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as
the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me
too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know how you would react and with that I’ll know that you love me too. But I
failed for you didn’t give me any clue. when our prom night came, you just don’t know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression so i told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it’s you whom I really love. What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. you continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I’ve experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you how much I love you but I decided that I just couldn’t do it. I could not bear to hear that
all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours
alone.

P.S.

Think of me sometimes…. and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.

******************************

I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, “Oh God, send my love to heaven.”

23th of love ,

2010-01-30T20:43:00.000+08:00

Icecream , iloveyou (:
It's been a week already !
Woah , th week is passing so fast .
I love you , thanks fr th ring :P .
Heartsyou ,